I guess I will never be a regular blogger, but that's OK.
I was reading some of my journals last week going back 15 years, I'm proud to say that I have came so far. I honestly don't know how my children and I made it through all that we have been through. But we have came out the other side, stronger and closer together, and for that I am eternally thankful.
Dustin graduated High School in June. I look at him and my heart could just burst, I am so happy and proud of the wonderful young man that he has become.
Myles will be starting school this year as a Junior, and my baby, Luke will be starting middle school as a 6th grader. This is the first year that I will not have a child in elementary school. It's a happy and sad time for me as a mother. I look forward to watching them grow into fine young men.
I can report that I am happy and content in my relationship with Buck. In April we will celebrate 12 years together. We have been through so much together and I look forward to spending many more happy years with him. I believe I have found the one my soul has always longed for. We will be working toward moving south when my children all graduate and he retires.
Until next time...whenever that will be!
Showing posts with label Blogging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blogging. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I'm Unrestricted!! YAY
The case is closed. We resume regular schedules that we had before this nightmare started. I'm sure there will be many new issues, since Dustin is now staying with me exclusively, and Myles will be going back and forth with the schedule that we had before. I'm sure there will be issues. But thank GOD we don't have to deal with these people in our lives anymore. I'm so glad.
CASE CLOSED!
In light of that, I have lifted the restricted reader setting from my blog. Welcome back, if I still have any followers out there.
CASE CLOSED!
In light of that, I have lifted the restricted reader setting from my blog. Welcome back, if I still have any followers out there.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
9/11 Remembered
As the 10th Anniversary of September 11 approaches fast, I am taking a moment to reflect on where I was, what I was doing and my thoughts and feelings during that tragic time.
My Tuesday morning was as busy as usual, fed my kids breakfast, got them ready for the day and headed out the door to take Dustin to Kindergarten. On the way to school, I had turned on the radio and Mancow in the morning was on, I was only half listening to it, talking to Dustin about school. Mancow was a joker, so when he said that a plane had crashed into the building, my first reaction was that it was a joke he was doing. When he announced that another plane had hit the second tower, there was a seriousness in his voice that was just out of character for the popular radio show. I turned off the radio and dropped Dustin off at school. I drove home with Myles and turned on the news to see the towers in flames. Desperate people, jumping to their deaths below. Calls of people calling their loved ones from their cell phone. I stood there in my living room, and just felt such utter sadness. I wanted my family with me, and my husband was working out of town. How could my husband not be with me when this was such a terrible time. Families needed to be together during this time. I felt such grief for the families involved. The families that would never be the same. These families would never hold their loved ones close again. I was saddened. I was crying for the people jumping out of the burning buildings that they were never to be rescued from.
AND THEN THE FIRST TOWER COLLAPSED. My heart sunk right to my stomach. I couldn't believe what I had just saw with my own eyes. The building just crumbled right there on television in front of me. Shortly after that, the other tower also collapsed. There was another plane crashed into the Pentagon, and another plane taken down by heroes aboard the plane that had no idea that they were about to be heroes that dreadful day. How could this happen? It was so sad. So tragic. I just wanted to be with my family. And my husband was so far away. I hugged my kids tighter. I went to donate blood, surely they were going to need blood for the survivors.
I stayed glued to the television during the search for the survivors, a couple pulled from the rubble, the rest casualties. No great demand for blood donations. Nothing. It was such a terrible tragic horrific day. A day that I will never forget.
My Tuesday morning was as busy as usual, fed my kids breakfast, got them ready for the day and headed out the door to take Dustin to Kindergarten. On the way to school, I had turned on the radio and Mancow in the morning was on, I was only half listening to it, talking to Dustin about school. Mancow was a joker, so when he said that a plane had crashed into the building, my first reaction was that it was a joke he was doing. When he announced that another plane had hit the second tower, there was a seriousness in his voice that was just out of character for the popular radio show. I turned off the radio and dropped Dustin off at school. I drove home with Myles and turned on the news to see the towers in flames. Desperate people, jumping to their deaths below. Calls of people calling their loved ones from their cell phone. I stood there in my living room, and just felt such utter sadness. I wanted my family with me, and my husband was working out of town. How could my husband not be with me when this was such a terrible time. Families needed to be together during this time. I felt such grief for the families involved. The families that would never be the same. These families would never hold their loved ones close again. I was saddened. I was crying for the people jumping out of the burning buildings that they were never to be rescued from.
AND THEN THE FIRST TOWER COLLAPSED. My heart sunk right to my stomach. I couldn't believe what I had just saw with my own eyes. The building just crumbled right there on television in front of me. Shortly after that, the other tower also collapsed. There was another plane crashed into the Pentagon, and another plane taken down by heroes aboard the plane that had no idea that they were about to be heroes that dreadful day. How could this happen? It was so sad. So tragic. I just wanted to be with my family. And my husband was so far away. I hugged my kids tighter. I went to donate blood, surely they were going to need blood for the survivors.
I stayed glued to the television during the search for the survivors, a couple pulled from the rubble, the rest casualties. No great demand for blood donations. Nothing. It was such a terrible tragic horrific day. A day that I will never forget.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Been MIA
I have missed blogging so much. I had some issues going on with my kids that preventing me from posting since October. So much has happened and still happening, but I am tired of being silent and the blogging is theraputic for me.
In October 2010, my oldest boy suffered a severe beating at the hands of his father. He was picked up by his neck and threw hrough the wall. DCS is involved and we have been going back and forth to court. It has been extremely stressful and demanding of time and resources. Although I did nothing to the children, I have to go through the parenting classes and individual and family therapy. We all had to have psychological exams and my son has to have random drug testing. I have been very stressed out and frustrated.
This has been a difficult time for me and the kids. I have waivered in my faith and felt alone in this. Dealing with DCS and the service providers is stressful. They expect you to drop everything and jump through hoops to comply with what they want with no consideration to the fact that I work and have to provide for my family while he is paying no child support and not doing anything positive for the kids. The kids are going for weekly visitation and family therapy with their father and each child has individual therapy as well. It is easy to see how people get fed up with dealing with these people and don't comply and end up losing their parental rights. And even though I did not do anything, they can still take my kids because they are technically wards of the state at the time, so I have to comply with their demands as well or I can lose them. And as their plan stands, the plan is reunification, which would mean that we would go back to having joint custody with the chance of this happening again fairly high, since their father has not changed his behavior. He was an abusive husband and now an abusive father. This just further perpetuates the problems that the boys have with their behavior and their attitudes in addition to the fact that they are 12 and 15 with atttudes anyway.
Sometimes, I just want to give up. Somedays, I just don't feel like going on. Somedays, it just is too much. But then think these are my kids, how can I just give up, even though they are acting out and I get all the bad behavior. Somedays, it is just too much for me to bear. And then, I get up the next day and do it again because I'm the Mom and they are my children. It's just so frustrating.
In October 2010, my oldest boy suffered a severe beating at the hands of his father. He was picked up by his neck and threw hrough the wall. DCS is involved and we have been going back and forth to court. It has been extremely stressful and demanding of time and resources. Although I did nothing to the children, I have to go through the parenting classes and individual and family therapy. We all had to have psychological exams and my son has to have random drug testing. I have been very stressed out and frustrated.
This has been a difficult time for me and the kids. I have waivered in my faith and felt alone in this. Dealing with DCS and the service providers is stressful. They expect you to drop everything and jump through hoops to comply with what they want with no consideration to the fact that I work and have to provide for my family while he is paying no child support and not doing anything positive for the kids. The kids are going for weekly visitation and family therapy with their father and each child has individual therapy as well. It is easy to see how people get fed up with dealing with these people and don't comply and end up losing their parental rights. And even though I did not do anything, they can still take my kids because they are technically wards of the state at the time, so I have to comply with their demands as well or I can lose them. And as their plan stands, the plan is reunification, which would mean that we would go back to having joint custody with the chance of this happening again fairly high, since their father has not changed his behavior. He was an abusive husband and now an abusive father. This just further perpetuates the problems that the boys have with their behavior and their attitudes in addition to the fact that they are 12 and 15 with atttudes anyway.
Sometimes, I just want to give up. Somedays, I just don't feel like going on. Somedays, it just is too much. But then think these are my kids, how can I just give up, even though they are acting out and I get all the bad behavior. Somedays, it is just too much for me to bear. And then, I get up the next day and do it again because I'm the Mom and they are my children. It's just so frustrating.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Intermission
A few updates
I have been very discontent lately. I'm not sure why. I just feel unhappy and depressed. I am trying to pull myself out of it, but I am finding it increasingly difficult. I'm sure that my meds need adjusting, but I have been unable to actually go see the psychiatrist since the insurance change left me with her not on the provider list and others had a wait. Now last week I call again and am told that she is on the provider list but she is going on vacation and will not be in until the end of the month. So, I have medication to last me. I just think that maybe we need to change the meds.
I am going for a sleep study at the end of this month. I am hoping to find answers for my excessive and very loud snoring that Buck keeps complaining about. He actually gets up to sleep on the couch or just goes to the couch to sleep instead of going to bed with me, which has also been bothering me. I know that he needs to sleep too. I know that he is a light sleeper. But still it bothers me that we are just falling into these routines that are in my opinion very unhealthy for our already complicated relationship. And, when he does sleep with me and he has been woke up by my snoring, he gets angry and shitty with me like I am snoring just to keep him awake or something. It's ridiculous.
I also have a follow up appointment with the Endocrinologist at the end of this month. I will find out the results from the extensive blood tests that they did. And hopefully they will have some answers for me and get me feeling better.
My Ma Maw's surgery is finally scheduled for this coming up Wednesday. I am worried for her but know that this surgery will improve her walking and hopefully relieve her of some pain that she has had from her foot being so distorted and walking on the inside of her ankle. Time will tell. She will remain up here at my sister's house to recover since she will not be able to put any weight on that foot for 6 to 8 weeks.
I start back with my classes for my Bachelor's degree on July 21st and I totally am not ready to do that, but I can not take off any more time without it affecting my financial aide. So, I must start again. I don't know how I am going to be able to concentrate on that with so many things going on and my mind is just not in the right place to start with new classes. I hope that I can get into gear with that. I need to. I have to.
I have been quiet lately, well at least where blogging is concerned. I have been feeling so negative about almost everything, and I just don't want to spread that negativity around. It's already all around me. Feels like it is swallowing me up. I feel like I am drowning in it.
I have been very discontent lately. I'm not sure why. I just feel unhappy and depressed. I am trying to pull myself out of it, but I am finding it increasingly difficult. I'm sure that my meds need adjusting, but I have been unable to actually go see the psychiatrist since the insurance change left me with her not on the provider list and others had a wait. Now last week I call again and am told that she is on the provider list but she is going on vacation and will not be in until the end of the month. So, I have medication to last me. I just think that maybe we need to change the meds.
I am going for a sleep study at the end of this month. I am hoping to find answers for my excessive and very loud snoring that Buck keeps complaining about. He actually gets up to sleep on the couch or just goes to the couch to sleep instead of going to bed with me, which has also been bothering me. I know that he needs to sleep too. I know that he is a light sleeper. But still it bothers me that we are just falling into these routines that are in my opinion very unhealthy for our already complicated relationship. And, when he does sleep with me and he has been woke up by my snoring, he gets angry and shitty with me like I am snoring just to keep him awake or something. It's ridiculous.
I also have a follow up appointment with the Endocrinologist at the end of this month. I will find out the results from the extensive blood tests that they did. And hopefully they will have some answers for me and get me feeling better.
My Ma Maw's surgery is finally scheduled for this coming up Wednesday. I am worried for her but know that this surgery will improve her walking and hopefully relieve her of some pain that she has had from her foot being so distorted and walking on the inside of her ankle. Time will tell. She will remain up here at my sister's house to recover since she will not be able to put any weight on that foot for 6 to 8 weeks.
I start back with my classes for my Bachelor's degree on July 21st and I totally am not ready to do that, but I can not take off any more time without it affecting my financial aide. So, I must start again. I don't know how I am going to be able to concentrate on that with so many things going on and my mind is just not in the right place to start with new classes. I hope that I can get into gear with that. I need to. I have to.
I have been quiet lately, well at least where blogging is concerned. I have been feeling so negative about almost everything, and I just don't want to spread that negativity around. It's already all around me. Feels like it is swallowing me up. I feel like I am drowning in it.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Blah
Have not really had much to say lately. Sick and tired hearing about Michael Jackson. My kids won't stop fighting. Having issues with Buck. Just nothing positive to say right now, so taking a little break.
Until next time.
Until next time.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Cheering for Noah
My friend, Tilda, from one of the Mom's groups that I have belonged to for a couple years now, she is having a very difficult situation and could really use all the prayers that can be sent their way. Last week, her 9 year old son collapsed at swimming. It turns out that he had a massive stroke/brain bleed. I hope I am saying that right. There has been a website set up and I would really appreciate if you could just drop her a line of well wishes.
http://www.hopefornoah.com/
There are some photos of Noah and an update page you can read for the latest updates. He is partially paralyzed on the right side and is having difficulty talking. He has a long rough road ahead to recovery.
Love to you Tilda.
http://www.hopefornoah.com/
There are some photos of Noah and an update page you can read for the latest updates. He is partially paralyzed on the right side and is having difficulty talking. He has a long rough road ahead to recovery.
Love to you Tilda.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Makeover
Gave the blog a makeover last night. Not sure if I like it or not. I'm not one big for change, but I'll give it a couple days. I may change it back or find a different one. Not sure yet.
Until next time...
Until next time...
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Just hello
I started new classes yesterday working toward my bachelor degree in accounting. These classes are set up a little different than I am used to, but I'm sure I will get the hang of it. There is a lot of reading to do so I'm not sure how much I will be online. But, I always say that and then I am blogging anyway. I have new photos to upload from the holidays, I will try to get that done later tonight. Hope that everyone is well and off to a great 2009.
Until next time.
Until next time.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Antigone's Baby
Antigone had her baby! A 6 pound 11 ounce baby boy. A happy ending for her finally. I'm so happy for her. Could you please stop over there to give her well wishes and welcomes for her baby boy. It's a happy day.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
A journey in Internetland
Isn't it amazing how you can get so attached to your computer? I sit in front of mine and check blogs reading about other people's lives, posting on a mom's group that I have "met" several women that I actually consider my friends although we have never met, doing my school work online, browsing the Internet. I could go on and on. It is also just as amazing to me that being online can be so stressful with people that you have never personally met and yet have felt so close to.
There was recently an uproar in a group that I belong to that has had me thinking this week about friends, loyalty, and cyberspace. This particular uproar caused great stress for me and quite a few others that I talk to online. It even got me temporarily banned from my mom's group (not a very good feeling) through misunderstanding and maybe a lack of communication. I must add for reference that I do LOVE the mom's group and the wonderful ladies there that have shared experiences and support.
It's hard to feel pressure in life and then also through your computer screen. But, all is well in Internetland this morning. I am happy that there really are friends out there that understand me and I do consider friends despite the fact that we live miles apart and have yet to meet up, close in person. Maybe some day. I can only hope.
There was recently an uproar in a group that I belong to that has had me thinking this week about friends, loyalty, and cyberspace. This particular uproar caused great stress for me and quite a few others that I talk to online. It even got me temporarily banned from my mom's group (not a very good feeling) through misunderstanding and maybe a lack of communication. I must add for reference that I do LOVE the mom's group and the wonderful ladies there that have shared experiences and support.
It's hard to feel pressure in life and then also through your computer screen. But, all is well in Internetland this morning. I am happy that there really are friends out there that understand me and I do consider friends despite the fact that we live miles apart and have yet to meet up, close in person. Maybe some day. I can only hope.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Going Public
Ok, I have officially went public with the blog. I have really been enjoying setting everything up and writing from my heart on a few matters. I think I can get used to this. There are a few blogs that I read regularly and I really have liked them, so I think this will help me. I have been having mixed feelings about it, but after reviewing with my Mom's Group, I decided to have this public blog and a private one that I may not want to put out there for everyone to read.
Thanks ladies.
Thanks ladies.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
What to do with all this stuff?
Wow, I never realized how much stuff there is for blogging out there. I'm still figuring things out. All this is sort of a new language for me to learn, with the html's, and the dashboard, and the layouts and settings..... I promise all my posts won't be about blogging, I am just overwhelmed by how much there is to choose from. Jeez, if you do a search for blogging, so many things come up, you could get lost in all the links from one page to another! It's crazy. And I was still using pen and paper! What the heck was I thinking?
Monday, July 7, 2008
Testing the waters...
I am testing the blogging waters. I have wanted to create a blog for some time now, but have always seemed to put it off. Well tomorrow is never gonna come if I don't start some time! This is my very first post. I am so excited, although I have no idea what I am doing. I think that I will be spending quite a bit of time getting things going and arranged just how I want them. Already I am liking the font, although I usually use Comic Sans font for most things, I guess it does not really matter, but I think that I like this font too. I'm not really sure where to begin with the blogging. I have so much that I'd like to get out of my head and off of my chest, I guess the best way is to dive right in. I mean, so you start with your whole life story? I could be here for weeks typing my fingers to the bone! Or do you just start where you are right now in life? Are you supposed to have a theme, or just whatever you want? I don't want to be boring, but I don't want to seem something I am not. This blogging is not as easy as some make it seem. I will have to think on this some more for now. I'm going to fiddle with the gadgets and see what I can find. Any suggestions would be great.
Until next time.
Until next time.
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