Group photo shoot

We are going this week to get photos of all the Grandkids. 8 kids in all from ages 15 down to 1. Should be an interesting time. Hopefully they will turn out good. I will post some of the pics after I get them back. I'm excited, but I know it will be hard to get them all to focus on the same thing. We are going to a park setting, so there should be some great outside scenes.

This and that

I am feeling hopeful today. Hopeful about decisions I have made. Thankful for my family and friends that have always been there even when I was not a willing participant. Thankful for new friends and "sisters" to help me with my walk that God has planned for me. I guess for today at least I am feeling a little happy.

Strange, since I should be worried about bills. Always bills. Never ending bills. My house is a mess. My 14 year old has a girlfriend that I think is getting too friendly.

Mom & Dad renewing their vows

And since I never mentioned since it was a "surprise," we (my sisters, brother and I) had a surprise 25th anniversary party for my parents last weekend. It was so nice. My parents were somewhat surprised, you know our family can't keep a total secret, but they were surprised to see some people that they have not for a long time. My Mom's brothers and their families came from out of town. It was bittersweet since my Aunt was not there and toward the end of the evening, we too the balloon arch that my parent's renewed their vows under and released it in remembrance of those that were not with us that evening. It was bittersweet to say the least. We all felt her presence and her absence.

Sending Balloons to Heaven

But for today, I am hopeful.

Some days are harder than others

I keep going to my Aunt's Facebook page. I don't know what I am looking for there. She is not posting anything since she is no longer here. But yet I keep going to look as if there's going to be something new there. I see her face and all the photos she has posted that I took of her at one point or another. I remember her that way and not of the photos of her in the hospital that were sent so that the rest of the family could see her condition (I have deleted those from my phone). I miss her. I would call her a lot. Apparently more than I realized because I catch myself sometimes dialing her number to talk to her. My cousin is there but I can not possibly burden her with how much I am missing her mother. I talk a lot to my Ma Maw, but she lost her daughter. And so it just sits there in my heart and in my thoughts. Tomorrow will be one month since she passed away. I miss her.

I love you and miss you so very much. I know you are resting in peace with angels.

Welcome to the world Brynn McKenzie

I'm an Aunt again!!

Brynn McKenzie

February 23, 2010

12:33pm

7 pounds 8 ounces

19 inches

Congratulations Phil and Kellie. She is beautiful and I love her.

The road to happiness starts with me

OK, so the other day I did something I swore I would NEVER do! Ready?? I got a tattoo!! I still can't believe I got a tattoo! I like it. It's cute. It is a frog on the top of my foot. No one will even know when I have on socks and shoes, except I hardly wear socks and shoes! But I like it. And I did it for ME! It made ME happy.

So, thinking about that, I'm going to try this new me. New me, new attitude. Happy. I want to be happy again. I want to be me again. I quit my job where my boss was a complete ass! Just walked right out! It felt liberating, although now I have to find another job. I still have my second job, but I made more money at the one I quit! I'm just trying to make myself feel better. Force myself to make changes... force myself to feel better. I am not going to let some failed fake relationship bring me down. Buck was clearly not worth my time and I believe that I knew that long before his infidelity. I just wanted something that was not there.

NO MORE! I am going to force myself to be happy, if it kills me!

I broke off my relationship with Buck last week. We had been having issues. And then he betrayed me and that was the last shove off the edge for me. I did tell him that he can see Luke whenever he wants, but he's hurt me beyond any love I have/had for him. It's crazy that there is such a fine line between love and hate.
So, I have been raging mad since last week to the point that I think I am going crazy. I'm so glad that I already had an appointment with my new psychiatrist this Wednesday. Because I really think that I am losing my mind. So, yesterday, I went and got a puppy! I guess a puppy will fix anything, right? Maybe I should have just got a dog six years ago instead of Buck? I can't and don't want to get into all the details, but I am so hurt and depressed. I've been here before and it's not pretty.


Here's a photo of Bella...our new puppy in all her cuteness.


She is a Great Dane!!

Congrats Amanda and Bobby

My cousin Amanda got married this weekend. Well, she was already married so I guess this was for the family. I had a wonderful time with my family despite Dustin's attitude problem during dinner. The next morning I felt like hell and remembered why I'm not supposed to drink like that anymore. My knees are still so sore it hurts to move my legs. I suppose that is from all the dancing although they were not hurting last weekend after the anniversary party we went to.

I went to the doctor this past week, he put me on some blood pressure pills and referred me to a cardiologist which I can not get in to see for a month.

I guess enough boring updates!

Until next time....

I leave you with a couple photos from the wedding.

My parents with all their children.

Me with my "baby" brother and Luke.

Wanted: More Photos

I have concluded that I have not been taking enough photos of the kids. I have this wonderful camera (Digital Cannon EOS xti) with an extra zoom lens. A high dollar camera, and I barely use it. I always forget to take it with me or am too lazy to carry it around all the time. Well, I have decided that I am going to make a more conscious effort to use the darn thing. And I really love taking photos. I have totes full of photos from film that I totally gave up trying to scan into the computer. So, starting tomorrow, I am going to be taking more photos, the kids are going to hate seeing that camera before I'm done!
I will post some maybe this weekend.

What happened?

So last night when we got home from dinner, we played baseball with Luke, which he loved. I was taking some photos of him. Then B took the camera and snapped a few shots of me. OMG!! I look so fat. No, really, I do. I look all puffy. I could not believe it when I saw those photos. I obviously did not realize this. I mean I look in the mirror everyday when I am getting dressed and doing my hair, but to see me in a photo, I look fat. I don't know when this happened. And I don't know what to do about it. But seriously, I have to do something.

Needless to say, those photos got erased. No more photos allowed!

Times Past...

It took me all weekend, but I did it! These are some good memories I found while scanning my photos.

Dustin was wearing my brother's football jersey. He thought Uncle P was so awesome! It's hard to believe that this is my grumpy pre-teen I have walking around my house now. He used to be so happy. I don't know what happened to him!

Same grumpy kid at 6 years old. I love the reflection off the glass in this photo. We were at Celebration Station for his birthday party.
Myles was 5 years old in this photo. He's the artistic one of the kids. He loves to paint, model clay, draw, anything that is artsy.
This is my Ma-Maw and Luke. Luke was 7 months old. This was the first time I took him to Kentucky. I refused to cut his hair until he turned 1 year old.
Luke pooping! He will propably hate me for this photo later in life. Right now, he thinks it's funny. :)

This was always something I made their Dad do with them. The pumpkin insides are just too gross for me, and by the looks of Dustin in this photo, he thinks so too!

He was so happy to be a big brother. I don't know what happened. Luke was brand new in this photo and Myles was 4 years old.

This is truely the coolest cake I have ever seen. I did not want to cut it. I saw it in a magazine and took it to the bakery and the lady made it, I just had to bring the candy pieces.

I think this is really one of the best photos of me that exist. I have found only a rare few that I think look good. This was 2001, Myles was 2 years old.

Christmas 2004. Another one that I think is good of me, although I am in my PJ's. Luke 1 year old and Myles 6 years old.

Thought I would share some that I found. There's more, but maybe I will try to incorporate them in a post.

Photos

Today, I am planning to go through old photos and scan them to the computer. I have been putting this off forever and now have an entire storage full of photos. I do have the actual photo, but really want them on the computer and onto a CD. I know this is going to take a lot of time. I'm curious. Have you put your film photos on the computer? Or just leave them be and start fresh with the digital camera?