Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Courtesy of my friend Karen

*If you are 30, or older, you might think this is hilarious!* *

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with
walking twenty-five miles to school every morning....* *Uphill...... See More

Barefoot...* *BOTH ways¦ yadda, yadda, yadda* *

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in
hell I was going to lay* *a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how
hard I had it* *and how easy they've got it!* *But now that I'm over the
ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of
today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live
in a damn Utopia!* *
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got
it!* *

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know
something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the
card catalog!!* *

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a
pen!* *Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in
the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10
cents!* *

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter
of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass!
Nowhere was safe! **

There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music,
you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!* *

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would
usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD
players! We had tape decks in our car.. We'd play our favorite tape and
"eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it
useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?* *

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and
somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it! **

There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you
just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of
touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... not being
in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right.
Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are. **

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no
idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your
bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!!
You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister! **

We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We** **had the Atari 2600! With games like
'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You
actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels
or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win.
The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until
you died! Just like LIFE! **

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You
were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass
and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no,
what's the world coming to?!?!**

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday
Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait **ALL WEEK** for
cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!**

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to
use the stove! Imagine that! *

*And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no,
no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you
were doing chores! *

*And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung
on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the
last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard,
well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place! *

*See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it
too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes
back in 1980** **or any time before!**

Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd* *

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Fw: T-G-I-F vs. S-H-I-T




A business man got on an elevator.
When he entered, there was a blonde already inside

who greeted him with a bright,
'T-G-I-F.'

He smiled at her and replied,
'S-H-I-T.'

She looked puzzled and repeated,
'T-G-I-F,' more slowly.

He again answered,
'S-H-I-T.'

The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly,
'T-G-I-F.'

The man smiled back to her and once again said,
'S-H-I-T.'

The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
'T-G-I-F' means 'Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it, duuhhh?'

The man answered, ''S-H-I-T' means
'Sorry, Honey, it's Thursday'

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Smokey's Chicken Suit!!


Smokey's Chicken Suit!!
Originally uploaded by fuzzybunny2
We totally pissed off the cat tonight by putting this chicken suit on him. I had to give him lots of treats to talk to me again. I guess we can forget about him actually wearing it for Halloween. Oh, well, it was a good laugh this evening at the poor cat's expense.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

FW: Forgiving Your Enemies


Forgiving Your Enemies



Toward the end of the service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied.

"Oh, Mrs. Jones, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:

"I outlived the bitches."






Monday, August 11, 2008

Just a funny

This made me laugh!