Tuesday, June 11, 2013

I have a new obsession

many faces of my coffee cup.

I am addicted to coffee. I never thought I would be one of those people but here I am. My Dad got a Keurig in November and I never touched it until recently when I was too lazy to drive to Dunkin Donuts for my coffee (the only place I would previously buy coffee.)  
First thing in the morning I fill my huge coffee mug from the Keurig. It's amazing stuff. I have my organic sugar and raw cream. By far the best coffee I have ever had in my life. I'm thinking why have I never tried this before? Now I am concerned about how much waste there is with the k cups so I have ordered a reusable filter and you're supposed to be able to put your favorite coffee in there and still have the most amazing cup of coffee. We shall see. I'm also thinking someone needs to buy me a Kuerig when I move out of Mom and Dad's and won't be able to use Dad's every day. I can not rave about it enough. The perfect cup of coffee. Every single cup. :) It's a good way to start the day. 

Monday, June 10, 2013

And my heart breaks

If I was a teenager, I would want to be with the parent that lets me do whatever I want. I would want to be with the parent that lets me stay up all night, not do my homework, not be after me about my grades, not care where I am or who I am with, not care what I'm doing, I have no supervision or guidance. I can do whatever I want. There are no chores.

If my other parent was totally the opposite, well of course I would want to be where I have more freedom and no one watching over my back all the time. I get it. I really do.

...But as that other parent, it is so hard to accept that my child only wants me when he can get something out of it. My sweet child only uses me for his benefit and then I'm kicked to the curb like yesterdays trash. It hurts. It breaks my heart. And yet I keep trying to do what is best for him although he hates me for it. That is my job...right? To keep trying and trying until there is nothing left of me, because it is what is best for him although no one seems to care except me. I don't know how much more my heart can take. I miss my sweet boy. I want him back.