Saturday, November 29, 2008

Wasted all day online

I have officially wasted the entire day surfing the internet, doing a little homework (not nearly what I should have!), took a nap, and reading blogs. I have determined that I read too many blogs and do not know when to stop! I think I have a blog addiction! Don't tell anyone! :)
I'm going to link some blogs that I have been reading.

Just to mention a few, then there is Facebook, I have wasted so much time on there! So, I am going to go watch a movie with Luke before he has to go to bed. Dustin and Myles are with their father, Buck is working still, so it's just me and Luke.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Today I am focused on my family and how thankful I am for each and every person in my life. My kids are healthy. We have a roof over our head. We have warmth. We have food. We have each other. Some people are less fortunate and do not have a warm home or enough food to eat. There are some families that their children are sick. So, I am blessed. I may not always appreciate it enough, but I am blessed. I will prepare a meal for my family and enjoy the time we are spending together. I hope that everyone else has a wonderful day.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Christmas will be here before we know it!

For Christmas I always bake some old family recipes with the kids. We do it every year. We usually end up with way more cookies and cherry tarts than we can all eat so we share with the neighbors and some families from church.
Another thing that we love to do every year is go through the drive thru of a fast food restaurant a day or so before Christmas and we pay for the car behind us and tell the cashier just to tell them Merry Christmas. This happened to me one year and I have never forgot it, so it is a nice feeling to do this for someone else. I hope that it has inspired someone else to do it as well. The kids always look forward to it and I hope that they will remember it and continue it when they grow up.
So Internet, what Christmas traditions do you share with your families? I'm curious to see what other people do to spread the Christmas spirit.

A break from homework for today

I just finished this huge assignment for cost accounting. This class has been harder than I expected it to be. I have been struggling with it. I'm glad that there are only 3 more weeks left in this class. The last day is December 14th. I'm glad it will be complete before Christmas. At least I won't be stressing about assignments while trying to enjoy Christmas with the kids.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Happening right now

The post I made to my Mom's group pretty much sums up how I am doing right now.
Just everything! Issues with my ex. Things with the kids. My oldest hates me and pretty much the world and I have issues about that because I am ready to tell him to stay with his Dad, but then I feel terrible, because I am his mom and not supposed to just give up. But I don't know what else to do. He does not listen to me at all. Myles, bless his heart, seems depressed. He was telling me the other day some things about his Dad's house and his step mom that upset me, but I can not say anything, because I have no control over what goes on there. And I hate that I can not control what goes on with them all the time. There is just so much.
I am in my last class before I get my associates degree, but I am having a struggle with the class and have a 78% which is going to bring down my GPA, which I am not happy about.
Buck and I have talked more and more about living together and all it has done is convince me that we can not live together. So, being realistic, things have to stay how they are between us which is a story in itself.
I have been having a lot of problems with my feet and legs swelling, and have not made time to go to the doctor. But what are they going to tell me, stay off them, well that is not possible. So that is not a solution, I have to work. So I have not even been to the dr about it yet. But they swell and throb almost everyday except when I stay off them like on the weekend.
So, right now, I just want to go back to bed for like a week. But really, that won't change things anyway. I am trying to made the best of what I have. It's just been hard lately.

Sunday, November 16, 2008


I am determined that this is going to be a good week.
I am going to try my best not to stress about everything.
I really am going to try.

Saturday, November 15, 2008 me crazy

OK, so about my crazy week!

Last weekend, on Friday, Myles decided to swallow a quarter. Yep, you read that right a quarter! He swallowed it. I went into how he IS almost 10 years old and how many times have I told him not to put things in his mouth since he was little, but he had of course, already swallowed the quarter. Well, on Saturday, Myles is throwing up most of the day, dinner that we had before he had swallowed the quarter, so I get nervous about it being stuck and take him to the emergency room. They took an x-ray, the quarter was in his stomach and they said to bring him back in 2 to 3 days for another x-ray to see where it is at. So, I keep asking him if he has pooped it out. Like three times, he tells me he thinks he did. Well, it was only one quarter and he does not know if he pooped it out, and he couldn't have pooped it out three times!!. I'm tired of asking him if he's pooped out the quarter by then.

Tuesday, their father calls me at work, says that Dustin is in the nurses office at school, he's itching, maybe from the chlorine at the pool since he has started swimming again. But he's in the nurses office itching and wants someone to come get him. He says he is going to leave work to go get him. In the mean time, the ER radiology calls me to say that it looked like the quarter was lodged and want Myles to come back for another x-ray. I call the ex, tell him, since he is going to go pick up Dustin from school. Could he take Myles for the x-ray?

He sends his wife to go get Dustin, cause God forbid that he actually have to do anything for his kid, like go pick him up from school. And he did not want me to go get him on his day. Well, anyway, they don't get Dustin the Aquaphor for his itching like I said to get him that used to be prescribed for him for dry skin, but give him an oatmeal bath instead. No one takes Myles for the x-ray like the radiology department says, because apparently their father has now got a PhD that I was unaware of and the x-ray people must be wrong! I'm stressed out because they are with him and he is not doing what I would be doing with the kids and of course I have no control over that because they are with him that day. I hate that I have no control over what goes on with them when they are with him.

But, OK, so last week, Dustin did not get the best teacher conference...he has anger issues and attitude and a half with most everyone when you are telling him what to do. And then the school counselor called about the same issues as the teacher, so I make him an appointment with his counselor (that he has gotten to take a break for the summer providing that he has no "issues" but apparently he has issues or there would not have been a not so good conference and call from the counselor), and when I tell him over the phone that we are going there, he HANGS UP THE PHONE ON ME!!! Yep, you read that right too. Hung the phone up on me and would NOT get back on the phone when I called back mad as hell. I was so mad, I was seeing spots. I knew that he would not want to go there, but to be so utterly disrespectful to hang up on me. OMG!! I was livid!! I was actually glad that I had to drive about an hour before I actually got there to pick him up.

I am stressed out. I mean I am doing the best that I can. I have two jobs. I am going to school full time. I have three kids. I am involved with the kids. I care about what they do, like I am supposed to. I am working my ass off and getting no where fast. I'm just so sick of it. Sometimes, I really feel like I could just walk away. I don't want to be me. I don't like being me. I hate my life. I hate the fact that I hate my life. I want my kids to listen to me. I am tired of dealing with everything.

And yet...

I know that I can not just walk away. I do not want to. They are my kids. But damn, it just really sucks right now. Everything.
Until next time and thanks for reading this long post.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated...

Friday, November 14, 2008

Finally Friday!!...again

This past week has been crazy. I don't have time to write about all of it now, but all I can say is that I am so happy it is Friday!! I thought Friday would never get here. Tomorrow I am sleeping in and turning off my phone! Will update with this weeks craziness later this afternoon.

Friday, November 7, 2008

I'm going to need a glass of wine!

My kids are driving me crazy.
As I sit here and type this, Dustin is fighting with Myles, Luke is crying because they are fighting. I have said stop about a hundred times now with no response. I have even went in to break it up three times. I am never going to get through this weekend.
I am going to need a padded room for myself before the weekend is over!!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

History has been made

Well, we have a new president.
Not the one I had hoped for, but a new president.
It will be interesting to see what happens from here.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


I'm depressed.
Just depressed.
I don't know why.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Trick or Treating

Luke was spiderman again this year. He could barely breathe through that mask, but wore it most of the night.
We took all the cousins together, minus the older kids, they went off on their own.

This is the parade that we took with us trick or treating. My two sisters, my sister's boyfriend, the four kids and myself!

This house was really cool.

So after trick or treating, My sister, My mother and I went on this scavenger hunt that the town had set up. It was so much fun. We had to go to the graveyard, a church, and we raided my sister's house and went to her neighbor's houses asking if they had items on the list. We didn't do too bad. We got 4th or 5th place. Some gift certificates. It was really a good time.
What did you do for Halloween?