Humbug!

     I am just not feeling the Christmas cheer this year. I don't feel like baking, I don't feel like decorating, I don't feel like being cheery. Don't get me wrong I have so many things to be thankful for, but just not feeling the Christmas cheer that normally overcomes me this time of year. I want to feel the Christmas spirit where I feel a little nicer than usual, I feel kinder than usual, I feel happier than usual. This year...I got nothing so far. I'm hoping I will find it before Christmas, I really hope I do. And I do have so many blessings to be thankful for. Even though things are not exactly how I'd like them to be they are better than they could have been.
     Myles will have the wires removed from his mouth just in time for Christmas, so he will be very happy to be enjoying Christmas dinner. I'm thankful for that, although secretly I think he has got used to me waiting on him hand and foot. And I gladly do it, because when I think that I could have lost him and Dustin, it is just too much to bear. I thank God every day for looking out for them and that they are ok. I don't think the boys realize how blessed they are. It really has added perspective for me though in a way that I thought I had already, especially since Myles had had cancer when he was 7, but this has added new meaning for me.

     Until next time...

don't ever scare me like that again!

     On October 27, 2012, Dustin and Myles were in a horrible ATV accident. Dustin was driving 60mph through a corn field with Myles on the back, they crashed right into a ditch. Myles was catapulted off the back and landed right on his face. He had seizure activity and was air lifted from the scene. Dustin was transported by ambulance to a local hospital and then transported to the same trauma hospital that Myles was air lifted to.
     So 2 of my 3 children were in this awful accident. Myles broke his jaw on both sides, his orbital floor on both sides, and his left cheek bone. He had surgery on October 29, to wire his jaw shut to allow it to heal. Even though he broke his face, he had no head trauma!, and no internal injuries. Dustin had internal bruising of his liver, pancreas, kidney and lung. They had angels watching over them I am convinced.
     I plan to put them in bubbles now, because I seriously might die if they scare me like that again! I am so very thankful that they are gonna be OK. Myles has the inconvenience of eating his food through a straw for 6 weeks, but he's gonna be just fine. No scars, no lost teeth, no head injury, no visible damage. God is so good. We are so blessed.
    

I did it!

I put a deposit down on a cute little farm house in Booneville, KY! I will be moving there in a couple of months! I'm so excited to have a fresh start somewhere else. I can have chickens and goats. My pets are allowed. I can't wait to get there. I have reservations because I will be leaving behind my two older boys since neither of them want to move there with me. Dustin will be 18 in a little over a year and Myles has been spending most of his time with his father. So that just leaves me and Luke. I also feel bad about moving Luke away from his Dad, because his Dad is an active part of his life and he will miss him terrible. But there is Skype and he can talk to him everyday still.

In other news, my newest nephew was born yesterday. 7 weeks early. He is oxygen and a feeding tube, but otherwise doing well for being a little guy. 5 pounds 1 ounce, 18.5 inches. Cute as he can be. We are all in baby love.

Dustin Drives!

Dustin driving

     I am now the mother of a teenage driver! Oh my. My life will never be the same! :) He's a good driver but of course I worry about him. I have to trust that he is going to obey traffic laws and be a responsible driver. And I pray every time that he leaves the house that he comes home safely. I haven't yet asked him to run errands for me. I suppose that may be a perk.
    

First day of third grade

     School started here last week. Dustin being a sophomore this year, Myles in 8th grade, and Luke in 3rd grade. Before I know it, they will be all grown up.
   
     I am still planning to move to Kentucky within the next few months. I have already found a house to rent with enough room where I can have chicken and some goats. I am really looking forward to it. I want to plant a garden and can my own food. I'm going to learn to make cheese. It will be great! The house I found is about an hour or so from my Mamaw, so that is great. I will be close to her and my other family there. Luke seems pretty excited about moving there and wants his own dog. He will miss his Dad, but they can Skype and we will visit up there as well since my older two boys will not be making the move with me. Myles will be staying with his father and visiting me on summer vacations, and Dustin is planning on staying with my sister so that he can continue going to the same High School. I understand, but it will be difficult being away from my older boys. But I really feel that if I do not make the move at this time, I may never have the chance to again. So I'm taking a huge leap of faith with this.
    
     Sorry I'm such a terrible blogger and I don't update more often. I always want to and then I can not think of anything good to write about. Maybe I will try to write down ideas as they come about.

     Hope everyone is doing well, until next time.

    

Making Changes

Changes are hard. There is just something about stepping outside your comfort zone and changing the way you do things. I have never been one to really embrace change and it has not been my friend in the past. But lately I have been thinking more and more about change and I am learning to embrace it. I want change. I'm hoping that it leads to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life for me and my children.

I anticipate moving to Kentucky by the end of the year. Honestly...I can not get there fast enough. I am excited to start fresh someplace new. I want to have chickens, a garden, goats, and cats! Now finding the right place where I can have all these things, well that's gonna be a chore. I'm hoping that God just leads me in the right direction. I want to can my own jam and veggies.

I want to live simpler and happier. I want to be more self sustaining, less dependant on market. I have made small adjustments in some things that I'm doing. I realize that this is a slow process, but I'm working on it. And I'm enjoying the changes that I am making to live a more simple, frugal life. I have started making my own laundry soap, which by the way is dirt cheap compared to the name brand stuff I was buying, and this stuff works every bit as good. I was so stuck on the name brand, but after I got over that, I really do prefer the homemade stuff. I am using homemade goats milk bar soap instead of commercial body wash (with all the chemicals), I have been using a homemade shampoo bar followed by an apple cider vinegar rinse for my hair. And surprisingly, I like it. Without all the chemicals.

I have been buying organic produce and fresh farm meats. Also, I have been buying fresh farm milk, cheese, butter and eggs. I can not tell you the difference in taste and I feel better using it. I didn't even think that I liked milk until I started buying this milk. It is delicious. It keeps longer than store bought, it tastes better, and I know where it comes from. It may not be lifestyle choices for everyone, but I am liking the choices I am making for my family and myself.

Are there things that you do to feel you are making a difference??
Tell me. I want to learn more.

Reflecting

I have been thinking a lot lately about my Mamaw. If things go as planned, I hope to move closer to her. I think of how she is getting older and about a time when she may no longer be with us. I try not to think about that too often, because...well that thought makes me have panic attacks. I dread the day that my Mamaw is not a phone call away. I want to be closer to her. I want to be the one to care for her when that time comes, no matter how difficult she can be. I want to be near her and soak up all the knowledge that she has to offer me. I want my children to know and love her like I do. It has just been on my mind so much lately. I can't get there fast enough.

Good news

I got my hearing date for SSI in the mail today. I am excited and nervous about it. I'm praying that this will finally be approved and I can get on with the next chapter in my life. Please pray for me and my family. If this goes through, we will be moving and there will be lots of changes happening for us all.

Happy Mother's Day to you all.

I'm so blessed with my three boys. I have been given the gift of being their mother. Not just any mother, but Dustin's mother, Myles's mother and Luke's mother. I have given life three times to three individual and special souls. I forget sometimes how blessed I am to be a mother so this year I'm relishing in the fact that I am their mother. Our days may not be perfect but they sure are worth it. And I am grateful for my own mother and the other mothers in my life. My sisters, my friends, Aunts both living and in Heaven, and my Mamaw. I guess I need to be reminded sometimes how blessed I am to be given such a gift. So I am thankful today.
Happy Mother's Day to all of you Moms out there.

Recipes

I have found so many new recipes to try on Pintrest! I think I've gained weight just looking at them. There are a few I'm for sure going to try. But oh my gosh the time I have wasted on that site!! It's crazy. What about you any great recipes you have found poking around the internet??

16 candles on his ice cream

My boy turned 16 today! I can hardly believe that. It seems like just yesterday he was born. The time goes by so fast. It truly does. I never believed that saying until I had my own children. But, it's a fact of life...they grow up. He is anxiously awaiting the coveted drivers license and tinkering with his truck so much that I will be surprised if the thing even runs by August when he will be getting his license. He hasn't figured out the saying if it ain't broke don't fix it! I usually bake a cake for my kids on their actual birth day, but since Dustin doesn't like cake, I asked him if he wanted me to make him brownies or go to Dairy Queen. He chose DQ, so we went there after school, got ice cream and hot dogs. We ate the ice cream before supper. I will have a birthday party for him next weekend.
Happy Birthday Dustin, you'll always be my first baby no matter how old you get.

Hoping for a better week...

So about 2 weeks ago on January 23rd, I went to the ER for pain in my side and ended up having an emergency surgery to remove my appendix. Until that point, I had never had a surgery before, so I had no idea how painful it is. Three tiny holes, hurt so much! It's crazy. I think they rearranged all my innards. It was quite inconvenient, as most emergency surgeries are I suppose. My Mom had to leave to go out of town for work that day, my youngest sister was working and taking care of her own kid, my other sister runs a daycare out of her home...my kids had to get back and forth to school. (And through it all my sisters were there doing everything for me, even visiting me in the hospital. :)) I know it's a lot of complaining. I'm so sorry, that seems to be my nature lately and I HAVE GOT TO  change that way of thinking. I'm working on it, I promise. Went in on a Monday and went home on Thursday. So, a week later, I go back to the ER to be diagnosed with pneumonia, a common side effect from surgery, wow that hurt too. And I keep thinking of my friend who has just had multiple surgeries. Love to you. I'm hoping to go back to work next week. I still feel tired and not myself but I have to get back to work. I really can't afford to be off work.
So the interesting part is that I went for my follow up visit with the surgeon this past Friday and he said that my appendix was very unusual because it was infected on the outside and the indie was still healthy which he said is very unusual and that it is very possible that there is something else wrong and that the appendix was covering it up or that the appendix became infected from another neighboring organ. I had been putting off an appointment with the OB/GYN, but I have an appointment scheduled with her this week and he also suggested I make an appointment with my general Dr. to see if there is any other tests he'd like to do. I think I'm going to be going to quite a few more doctor visits in the near future.
How are all of you??

I'm here. Things are ok. Just working and going throught the day to day motions right now. Praying for my blogging friends that are going through some tough stuff right now. I'm thinking about you all.