Friday, May 21, 2010


I'm still here, just in a funk. Well...still in the same funk to tell the truth. The next couple weeks I have many obligations to fill since I am hopelessly unable to say no to anyone. I have taken on another "part-time" job caring for a lady with Lyme Disease. So sad how it has robbed her of her ability to live life as she was used to. But I will try to get a better update on here this weekend. I have a lot to say but have to get it out of my head.
Until next time.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Shout out to all Moms :)

Happy Mother's Day to all my favorite Moms out there! I hope you all have a wonderful day filled with love.

Monday, May 3, 2010

I have so much on my mind, I feel like my head could literally explode. I have little energy for anything. I know it is this depression. I can not get into see Dr. Shrink until the 26th. I know that I am needing a medication adjustment, I just don't know what. I really would like to start jogging, but, that leaves me with the problem of who is going to watch Luke while I do that? I need to do something. And this point, I do not have enough to pay my bills for this month. I have to call my landlord and tell him tomorrow. I am hoping that he will be a little understanding and work with me. If not, then, I don't know what I am going to do. It just really stinks that I am 35 and struggling with money all the time. I have a degree in accounting, but have yet to find that accounting position. I filled out an application last week that I had hopes about, but have not heard anything from them. I intend to call tomorrow to check up on the application.
I am helping y friend out this weekend at a "Going Green Expo" at the fair grounds. Then Sunday for Mother's Day, our family ALWAYS goes to my sister's house for a get together. We have done it for the last 11 years now. I have to bring cheesecakes. That is her only request of me every year. So, I oblige. And lately, I have been craving being with my family. I don't know if it is triggered by how many people I have lost in the last six months or just something going on with me. But it doesn't hurt to want to be with them.
In other news, the giant puppy has taken a liking to chewing up shoes. She gave up electrical cords after being jolted, but she is loving shoes. Two pairs of my work shoes, Two pairs of Ashlee's flip flops when she was up here, and recently, Myles' brand new Nike's. Needless to say, I am less than happy about it and have yet to find a way to deter her from this. (Hitting her with the shoe in anger the other day did not help.) So, if anyone has any ideas or advice, please, do tell. And she does have plenty of chew toys and rawhide bones and harder bones, she's spoiled rotten, and still she chews the shoes! Then, I look at her and remember how badly I needed her when I got her. Mentally, I was a mess. But, I would like her to give up the shoe fetish.
And, Diana, I will be thinking about you this Mother's Day. I know how badly you will be missing your Mom. Love to you. And Vickie, your words mean so much.
Happy Mother's Day.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Funky Town

I'm in a funk!
I can not seem to climb out of. I have been trying to force myself to be more positive. Do more things, but I don't want to. I am happy to sit in the house in my PJ's all day, every day. I don't want to deal with all the issues that Dustin is having right now. He is on a bad path and all the talking in the world is not getting through to him.
I thought I was feeling a little better after the party for my parents and being around the family was good for everyone. But now, with Mother's Day approaching, I am worried about my cousins Becky and Randy too, this will be the first without their Mom. I can't imagine how that is going to be for them. I am thankful that I have my mother and realize that I should make her more aware of how thankful I am that I still have her. There are many people that read this blog that have lost their Mom, my thoughts and prayers will be with you on that day as well.
I have so many other posts in my head. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to get out another. There is so much on my chest, I feel like it is crushing me.