Welcome 2013.
I'm sure hoping you will bring better things than 2012. I'm hopefully optimistic about it.
My children are all going to be going to the same schools. My children are all under one roof. My children are all healthy and safe. I'm looking for a different place to live, because my kids don't want to go to Kentucky. So I will have to find a place closer to here that will work until I can get to Kentucky sometime in my life. Right now though it just isn't the right time.
I have lots of goals for myself for this year. I want to try to be a more patient person. I want to be on time, I'm always late and it is stressful. I want to be more timely. I want to show my children that they can have disagreements and no swear and get angry. I will be working on this as well. I want to stop swearing. I don't think I swear a lot but even when I do, I just feel it is not necessary to get your point across, and I want them to watch what they are saying. We are going to implement a swear jar.
I'm going to watch what I eat and continue to make healthy choices for me and my family. I want to really focus on the important things in life, because I have been shown that just so quickly things can change. I want my kids to always know that I love them with my whole heart from my actions, words, and reactions.
I think this is a great way to start the year. Many blessings to you as we start this brand New Year.
Showing posts with label my personal beliefs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my personal beliefs. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Monday, October 11, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Humbled
Dustin and I volunteered at the soup kitchen today with some members from our church. I have to say it was an amazing experience. I was so humbled by how many people there were there and that these people are there everyday giving back to the community. I am definitely going to volunteer there again. Dustin learned some things too, it's just not cool to talk to his Mom. I am so happy that I went and am going to go again. There were many hungry people there, more than I could have ever imagined. And, I am sure that there are many that were not there tonight as well. I don't have much, but I am blessed. I have missed going to church and have let too many things get in the way. I am wanting very much to get back into the swing of things and make myself go, even when it is easier to just stay home. It's far to drive, I'm tired, the kids don't want to get up, I have assignments to do, I'm saving gas. But really, I just feel so much better when I go there. Everyone is so wonderful and make you feel so loved. I plan to get back into good habits. This is the best place to start.
Also, remembering Rachel today on her first anniversary in Heaven. We sure do miss you.
Also, remembering Rachel today on her first anniversary in Heaven. We sure do miss you.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Cultural diversity
Buck turns 48 tomorrow. We have been together for five years now. Wow.
It's funny, because when I look at him, I do not see the age difference of 14 years. I do not see that he is Mexican and I obviously am not. I just see that I love him. Someone jokingly told me once that I was robbing the old folk's home instead of robbing the cradle as the saying goes, but I have never saw the age difference or the race difference.
Honestly, I hate to admit that before I started dating Buck, I never imagined being with someone that was not the same race as myself. Very close-minded. I was culturally unaware of all that there is out there. I had never given thought to the differences that people make sometimes based just your skin color. I just had never thought about it.
Buck has taught me many things regarding race and differences that there are. I do not always agree with what he says about some things, but I have learned that there are differences. And the thought had not crossed my mind until recently that we are a bi-racial couple. I thought that was only reserved for black and white relationships, but it is not. It hurt my feelings when this was pointed out to me, because I had never looked at our relationship in that manner. But, regardless of how they said it, they were right, we are a bi-racial couple. Something I never thought I would be saying about me.
I still do not care about the age or the cultures, I can see past all that and I see the last five years of my life with him. A lot of good, some bad, but it has been the right thing for me.
Until next time...
It's funny, because when I look at him, I do not see the age difference of 14 years. I do not see that he is Mexican and I obviously am not. I just see that I love him. Someone jokingly told me once that I was robbing the old folk's home instead of robbing the cradle as the saying goes, but I have never saw the age difference or the race difference.
Honestly, I hate to admit that before I started dating Buck, I never imagined being with someone that was not the same race as myself. Very close-minded. I was culturally unaware of all that there is out there. I had never given thought to the differences that people make sometimes based just your skin color. I just had never thought about it.
Buck has taught me many things regarding race and differences that there are. I do not always agree with what he says about some things, but I have learned that there are differences. And the thought had not crossed my mind until recently that we are a bi-racial couple. I thought that was only reserved for black and white relationships, but it is not. It hurt my feelings when this was pointed out to me, because I had never looked at our relationship in that manner. But, regardless of how they said it, they were right, we are a bi-racial couple. Something I never thought I would be saying about me.
I still do not care about the age or the cultures, I can see past all that and I see the last five years of my life with him. A lot of good, some bad, but it has been the right thing for me.
Until next time...
Thursday, March 12, 2009
"God is under the bed"
I got this email today and just think it is a wonderful way to believe. If only everyone could live this way, what a better world it would be....
GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED
I envy Kevin. My brother Kevin thinks God lives under his bed. At least that's what I heard him say one night. He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped to listen, 'Are you there, God?' he said. 'Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed...'
I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in. He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which he is an adult. He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under our tree every Christmas and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them. I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life? Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, return to eat his favorite macaroni-and- cheese for dinner, and later to bed. The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child. He does not seem dissatisfied. He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work. He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day's laundry chores.
And Saturdays-oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day my Dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. 'That one's goin' to Chi-car-go! ' Kevin shouts as he claps his hands. His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights. And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips. He doesn't know what it means to be discontent.
His life is simple.
He will never know the entanglements of wealth of power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be. His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it. He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax. He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others His heart is pure.
He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue. Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere. And he trusts God. Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God - to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an 'educated' person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion.
In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith. It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap . I am.. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances - they all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God's care. Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God.
And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed.
Kevin won't be surprised at all!
GOD LIVES UNDER THE BED
I envy Kevin. My brother Kevin thinks God lives under his bed. At least that's what I heard him say one night. He was praying out loud in his dark bedroom, and I stopped to listen, 'Are you there, God?' he said. 'Where are you? Oh, I see. Under the bed...'
I giggled softly and tiptoed off to my own room. Kevin's unique perspectives are often a source of amusement. But that night something else lingered long after the humor. I realized for the first time the very different world Kevin lives in. He was born 30 years ago, mentally disabled as a result of difficulties during labor. Apart from his size (he's 6-foot-2), there are few ways in which he is an adult. He reasons and communicates with the capabilities of a 7-year-old, and he always will. He will probably always believe that God lives under his bed, that Santa Claus is the one who fills the space under our tree every Christmas and that airplanes stay up in the sky because angels carry them. I remember wondering if Kevin realizes he is different. Is he ever dissatisfied with his monotonous life? Up before dawn each day, off to work at a workshop for the disabled, home to walk our cocker spaniel, return to eat his favorite macaroni-and- cheese for dinner, and later to bed. The only variation in the entire scheme is laundry, when he hovers excitedly over the washing machine like a mother with her newborn child. He does not seem dissatisfied. He lopes out to the bus every morning at 7:05, eager for a day of simple work. He wrings his hands excitedly while the water boils on the stove before dinner, and he stays up late twice a week to gather our dirty laundry for his next day's laundry chores.
And Saturdays-oh, the bliss of Saturdays! That's the day my Dad takes Kevin to the airport to have a soft drink, watch the planes land, and speculate loudly on the destination of each passenger inside. 'That one's goin' to Chi-car-go! ' Kevin shouts as he claps his hands. His anticipation is so great he can hardly sleep on Friday nights. And so goes his world of daily rituals and weekend field trips. He doesn't know what it means to be discontent.
His life is simple.
He will never know the entanglements of wealth of power, and he does not care what brand of clothing he wears or what kind of food he eats. His needs have always been met, and he never worries that one day they may not be. His hands are diligent. Kevin is never so happy as when he is working. When he unloads the dishwasher or vacuums the carpet, his heart is completely in it. He does not shrink from a job when it is begun, and he does not leave a job until it is finished. But when his tasks are done, Kevin knows how to relax. He is not obsessed with his work or the work of others His heart is pure.
He still believes everyone tells the truth, promises must be kept, and when you are wrong, you apologize instead of argue. Free from pride and unconcerned with appearances, Kevin is not afraid to cry when he is hurt, angry or sorry. He is always transparent, always sincere. And he trusts God. Not confined by intellectual reasoning, when he comes to Christ, he comes as a child. Kevin seems to know God - to really be friends with Him in a way that is difficult for an 'educated' person to grasp. God seems like his closest companion.
In my moments of doubt and frustrations with my Christianity I envy the security Kevin has in his simple faith. It is then that I am most willing to admit that he has some divine knowledge that rises above my mortal questions is then I realize that perhaps he is not the one with the handicap . I am.. My obligations, my fear, my pride, my circumstances - they all become disabilities when I do not trust them to God's care. Who knows if Kevin comprehends things I can never learn? After all, he has spent his whole life in that kind of innocence, praying after dark and soaking up the goodness and love of God.
And one day, when the mysteries of heaven are opened, and we are all amazed at how close God really is to our hearts, I'll realize that God heard the simple prayers of a boy who believed that God lived under his bed.
Kevin won't be surprised at all!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Travolta tragedy
I am irritated with the media about the Travolta tragedy. I mean seriously, they just lost their son and every time you turn on the television, there it is about their loss. I really feel that the media should be letting them grieve and not be trying to speculate about his death or his health conditions before his death or their Scientology beliefs. It just is such a difficult time for them right now and I don't think that it should be displayed all over every TV station, news report, magazine and tabloid. It's sad that they lost their son and although some people will say that they put themselves out there to the public and they just have to deal with it, I think that is wrong. They are parents above all else.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Baby Steps
There is so much on my mind lately. The holidays are coming. I do not really talk to my family (very long drama story) but recently, my mother has started calling me kinda regular. Not like we used to, but WAY more than I have spoke to her in the last two years. I'm not sure how I feel about it really. I mean, I missed talking with my mom, but there are some hard feelings there that I don't know will go away. Because of her, I basically have cut out my ENTIRE family for the last two years. We have always done things together in the past, family get togethers, birthday parties, holidays. And since our falling out, I have separated myself from all that. All the drama that goes along with it too. But I find myself being sucked back in, without really discussing the matters that got us there in the first place. I have found a new sense of self that I really have never had before, so it will NEVER be the same, but can it be different? I don't know. I have such mixed feelings about it. Some good, some bad. But I do have to give my mother credit, she seems to know where I stand on our arguments from the last two years and is not just expecting everything to be "normal." It's a start in the right direction I guess. Only time will tell.
Friday, September 5, 2008
The ultimate gift of organ donation
Are you a registered organ donor? I believe very strongly that this is a simple thing that we can do in death for the sake of another person, another family. Organ donation saves lives. I would seriously hope that if one of my kids needed an organ and I could not give it to them that because of someone else's kindness and grace my child would be able to live. When I die, I want to be able to do that for someone else. Certainly when you die, you aren't going to need your organs in Heaven, the afterlife or whatever you believe in. I have researched this and in my opinion, it is the best thing that we can do. It is a way to help save a life, but it is also a small way for part of you to go on in someone else. The link below is to a site that allows you to register to be an organ donor, because sometimes it just being on your drivers license is not enough. Please give it some thought.
http://www.donatelife.net/CommitToDonation/index.php
http://www.donatelife.net/CommitToDonation/index.php
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