Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
We have seen kids laying around on the couches waiting to be seen by the doctors. We have seen kids sick to their stomach from the chemo that is supposed to make them well. We see all the children without any hair from their chemo. And then there is Myles... The surgery took away his cancer and thankfully he did not need any further intervention. I try to remind myself how blessed we have been. It has been over two years now with no reoccurrance, but at every appointment, I always am holding my breath until his doctor says that there is nothing else that they see in the scans. I have to put on the brave, not worried face for Myles, but in my heart and in my head, I am worried sick that they will find it again.
What if it comes back? What if just surgery is not the answer if it came back? What if he did need chemo or radiation? What would we do? What would happen? Would he be ok if it came back again? Why is it that there are so many really sick kids there and my child was spared? I'm thankful that my child is not one of the really sick kids there but he could have been and that feeling literally makes me sick to my stomach.
I don't know how long that feeling is going to last. I had thought that with every passing appointment I would worry about it less and it is no big deal, just a check up. But I still worry that it will come back. I still worry that he will be sick. I hope those feelings will pass as time goes by but for now, I hold my breath until we leave the appointment with a good report.
I will update tomorrow.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
In this next photo he was about 10 months old. I don't know where the time has went. This seems like just yesterday.
This was taken when Myles was about 18 months old. He has always been a happy kid. I can only hope that remains as he gets older into near teenage years.
I promise this is the last one for this post. This photo was taken last year of the two of us together. I have very few photos of me and the kids together. I am usually the one behind the camera taking the photos.
So today my baby Myles is 10 years old.
Monday, December 1, 2008
On another note, Myles has his check up in Chicago this Friday and as always, I am obsessing about it. I always worry that they are going to tell me that they see something else. His check ups have been good for two years now but I still worry. I guess I will always worry about it.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I'm going to link some blogs that I have been reading.
Just to mention a few, then there is Facebook, I have wasted so much time on there! So, I am going to go watch a movie with Luke before he has to go to bed. Dustin and Myles are with their father, Buck is working still, so it's just me and Luke.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Another thing that we love to do every year is go through the drive thru of a fast food restaurant a day or so before Christmas and we pay for the car behind us and tell the cashier just to tell them Merry Christmas. This happened to me one year and I have never forgot it, so it is a nice feeling to do this for someone else. I hope that it has inspired someone else to do it as well. The kids always look forward to it and I hope that they will remember it and continue it when they grow up.
So Internet, what Christmas traditions do you share with your families? I'm curious to see what other people do to spread the Christmas spirit.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Just everything! Issues with my ex. Things with the kids. My oldest hates me and pretty much the world and I have issues about that because I am ready to tell him to stay with his Dad, but then I feel terrible, because I am his mom and not supposed to just give up. But I don't know what else to do. He does not listen to me at all. Myles, bless his heart, seems depressed. He was telling me the other day some things about his Dad's house and his step mom that upset me, but I can not say anything, because I have no control over what goes on there. And I hate that I can not control what goes on with them all the time. There is just so much.
I am in my last class before I get my associates degree, but I am having a struggle with the class and have a 78% which is going to bring down my GPA, which I am not happy about.
Buck and I have talked more and more about living together and all it has done is convince me that we can not live together. So, being realistic, things have to stay how they are between us which is a story in itself.
I have been having a lot of problems with my feet and legs swelling, and have not made time to go to the doctor. But what are they going to tell me, stay off them, well that is not possible. So that is not a solution, I have to work. So I have not even been to the dr about it yet. But they swell and throb almost everyday except when I stay off them like on the weekend.
So, right now, I just want to go back to bed for like a week. But really, that won't change things anyway. I am trying to made the best of what I have. It's just been hard lately.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Last weekend, on Friday, Myles decided to swallow a quarter. Yep, you read that right a quarter! He swallowed it. I went into how he IS almost 10 years old and how many times have I told him not to put things in his mouth since he was little, but he had of course, already swallowed the quarter. Well, on Saturday, Myles is throwing up most of the day, dinner that we had before he had swallowed the quarter, so I get nervous about it being stuck and take him to the emergency room. They took an x-ray, the quarter was in his stomach and they said to bring him back in 2 to 3 days for another x-ray to see where it is at. So, I keep asking him if he has pooped it out. Like three times, he tells me he thinks he did. Well, it was only one quarter and he does not know if he pooped it out, and he couldn't have pooped it out three times!!. I'm tired of asking him if he's pooped out the quarter by then.
Tuesday, their father calls me at work, says that Dustin is in the nurses office at school, he's itching, maybe from the chlorine at the pool since he has started swimming again. But he's in the nurses office itching and wants someone to come get him. He says he is going to leave work to go get him. In the mean time, the ER radiology calls me to say that it looked like the quarter was lodged and want Myles to come back for another x-ray. I call the ex, tell him, since he is going to go pick up Dustin from school. Could he take Myles for the x-ray?
He sends his wife to go get Dustin, cause God forbid that he actually have to do anything for his kid, like go pick him up from school. And he did not want me to go get him on his day. Well, anyway, they don't get Dustin the Aquaphor for his itching like I said to get him that used to be prescribed for him for dry skin, but give him an oatmeal bath instead. No one takes Myles for the x-ray like the radiology department says, because apparently their father has now got a PhD that I was unaware of and the x-ray people must be wrong! I'm stressed out because they are with him and he is not doing what I would be doing with the kids and of course I have no control over that because they are with him that day. I hate that I have no control over what goes on with them when they are with him.
But, OK, so last week, Dustin did not get the best teacher conference...he has anger issues and well...an attitude and a half with most everyone when you are telling him what to do. And then the school counselor called about the same issues as the teacher, so I make him an appointment with his counselor (that he has gotten to take a break for the summer providing that he has no "issues" but apparently he has issues or there would not have been a not so good conference and call from the counselor), and when I tell him over the phone that we are going there, he HANGS UP THE PHONE ON ME!!! Yep, you read that right too. Hung the phone up on me and would NOT get back on the phone when I called back mad as hell. I was so mad, I was seeing spots. I knew that he would not want to go there, but to be so utterly disrespectful to hang up on me. OMG!! I was livid!! I was actually glad that I had to drive about an hour before I actually got there to pick him up.
I am stressed out. I mean I am doing the best that I can. I have two jobs. I am going to school full time. I have three kids. I am involved with the kids. I care about what they do, like I am supposed to. I am working my ass off and getting no where fast. I'm just so sick of it. Sometimes, I really feel like I could just walk away. I don't want to be me. I don't like being me. I hate my life. I hate the fact that I hate my life. I want my kids to listen to me. I am tired of dealing with everything.
I know that I can not just walk away. I do not want to. They are my kids. But damn, it just really sucks right now. Everything.
Until next time and thanks for reading this long post.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated...
Friday, November 14, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
As I sit here and type this, Dustin is fighting with Myles, Luke is crying because they are fighting. I have said stop about a hundred times now with no response. I have even went in to break it up three times. I am never going to get through this weekend.
I am going to need a padded room for myself before the weekend is over!!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
We took all the cousins together, minus the older kids, they went off on their own.
This house was really cool.
So after trick or treating, My sister, My mother and I went on this scavenger hunt that the town had set up. It was so much fun. We had to go to the graveyard, a church, and we raided my sister's house and went to her neighbor's houses asking if they had items on the list. We didn't do too bad. We got 4th or 5th place. Some gift certificates. It was really a good time.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
My sister called tonight to ask if Luke and I wanted to go with her and my other sister and my nephews and niece trick or treating. And, since Buck is going to be working and can't go with us, I said yes, I'll go with them. She even offered to pick me and Luke up and bring us home since I am blind as a bat at night. It is seriously scary to drive with me in the dark.
I actually missed being around the family, but there still is reservations there that I just can not seem to let go of. I mean the last couple times that I have been around them, things have been fine and I actually had a good time. But with the family, comes all the family drama that I had separated myself from for the last two years. I'm still trying to find my place in this new territory. If that makes any sense.
Don't get me wrong, it is nice to be around family. I want my kids to be around family. It's just hard to 'forget' why I chose to remove myself from that family to begin with. I have not by any means forgot. I don't know that I ever will. But I want to raise my kids around family to an extent. Not smothering in family, but around them. It's so hard to explain.
Anyone else have this feeling of what to do from here?
Friday, October 24, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I have been sick. I went to the doctor yesterday and got some antibiotics.
We had a really nice birthday party for Luke on Sunday. My mother actually planned the whole thing. It was nice. I did not have to do anything, just show up with Luke. That was nice too. It was weird, but nice to be around the whole family after all this time. I reconciled with my sister after almost two years now. I was not speaking to her as well as my mother. Well, really, I separated myself from the whole family when this incident happened with my mother. I think that we have come a long way in the last couple months. But there are still apprehensions there for me because of the past. I don't want to get sucked into the same patterns that were there before.
My sister is having a birthday party for my niece this coming Sunday. I agreed to bring the kids. I was hoping to slowly work with this, but my niece's birthday is just two days after Luke's, so she already had a party planned for her before this unexpected party for Luke. I will go like I said I will. We'll see how it goes.
I guess time helps to heal wounds, but does it help change people too?? I guess only time will tell.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
The kids have been sick. Dustin has NEVER ending allergy problems that can not seem to get under control, especially since he spends half of his time with his Dad and his Dad does not believe that he needs medication, but that could be a whole other post there. Myles stayed home two days from school this week, he was throwing up and felt miserable. Luke has a little cough and runny nose. I have had a sore throat and my allergies have been crazy, although I suspect that is from cleaning the flood waters at work still that has turned moldy and nasty. But it's my job to do what he says. Really I think that we should have had professional cleaners come in, but mostly, I have cleaned it all on the days that I have been there.
Dustin got into trouble at school for getting "too rough on the playground" and then again at the after school accelerated learning program for trying to "enforce the teachers rules."
Things have been good with Buck and I. No more talks about living together, but things are good.
My mother and I are taking baby steps although it will never be the same. She is trying, I have to give her credit for that. And I am trying to be forgiving although with some issues still with me there.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Another nine weeks until my associates degree! I can't believe it. But I can not get ahead of myself. I still have the nine weeks ahead before I can say, Yea, I did that!!
Today has been a very long day. Up early this morning for work, just got home a little while ago. Thank goodness I made a ton of food this weekend, so we are having leftovers for dinner the next couple days. I made the best apple pie this weekend. I was patting myself on the back over that one! LOL
Luke still is not feeling 100%. He has a runny nose and cough now. Dustin is all stuffed up and has a cough. Myles has a runny/stuffy nose. I guess we are going to be going back to the doctor this week. I hope this is not how the winter is going to go.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
I have been cooking in the crockpot regularly now for about a month, but I have not found a recipe that is just so great I have to share. I have found a couple good ones, but nothing that is just Wonderful.
Until next time...
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Until next time...
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
I have so many posts going through my head and can only write so much at a time. Maybe next week I will have more time, since I will have a week off inbetween my next class. Maybe I will get a book read in the pile that keeps growing out of control. There is some drama im the mom's club that I love, and it has been on my mind as well. I finally went grocery shopping for Gramma today. She was driving me crazy. I finally just had to go before I had to flip out on her!
Luke still has an ear infection and keeps complaining about it, he's been on two antibiotics and ear drops now and I was giving him Motrin too. It's still bothering him. I am going to have to take him back to the doctor.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
2. I can't believe I'm up so early. It's 5am!
3. I have to finish an assignment and submit it today and start getting ready for the finals due next Sunday.
4. I have to call my MaMaw today, she's probably wondering what happened to me. Haven't called her for two days.
5. What's going to be for dinner tonight?
6. It's freezing in here.
7. Buck has to put the crockpot back together. I broke the handle last week.
8. Make a grocery list.
9. Gramma called me last night at 11:30pm. She's so lucky that my phone was on silent. What is her problem. I'm gonna have to kill her, she's driving me crazy!! I know she wants me to go to the store, but I have not had time yet. Doesn't she understand that I have a family to take care of?? She gets on my nerves. Can't get started on her this morning!!
10. What am I going to wear to church tomorrow. Nothing fits right anymore.
11. Put the clothes in the dryer.
12. Why am I thinking about so much this morning.
13. I have to check my email.
14. Read my blogs.
15. Start Buck's coffee and make his sandwiches.
16. OMG, it's gonna be a long day. I better get started.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wow! That is all I can really say. You could not pay me enough to be a teacher. To have to deal with 30 sixth graders all day! Not my idea of a good time, but he wanted me to go. So I did. I will post some pics maybe later tonight.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
It has been such a long busy day. I have been working on homework like crazy. I have finals next week, so I will be a crazy lunatic next week until they are finished. If I keep up like this, I may finish early, we'll see. I am only one more nine week class away from my associates degree. I can't even begin to say what an accomplishment that is for me. I'm so excited! I'm actually going to have a degree, well, in nine weeks...
Tomorrow I have to go back to the office and see if anything was cleaned while I was at my other job today. I will be cleaning up from that flood forever over there.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”- Martin Luther King Jr.
Fragments From Floyd, Sep 2008
You should read the whole article.
I'm not a political person, but this caught my eye.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Today while I was at work cleaning up the mess left over from the three feet of water we had through the building, a man came to the gate that lives behind the junk yard in the neighborhood back there, if you can call it a neighborhood. (There are a few very modest, run down houses, but people live there.) My boss took this guy back there on the loader, which is the only thing making it through the water still standing on Chase Street and the whole area around it. This old man completely broke down. It was heartbreaking. It really was. The look on his face was just...heartbreaking. His whole house is totally under water. You can see the top of his house, but that is about it.
This old man has lost everything, because no doubt, his house will be uninhabitable when the water goes down. And these people that live back there are poor to begin with. He will never recover from this. He will never be the same. It just makes me so very sad.The look in that man's eyes, I will never forget. He was just devastated. I started to cry and had to go in the back to my office. I just can not handle seeing people when you know that there is nothing you can do to help them. I swear, I will always remember that mans face. He said he's lived there 55 years and it has never been this bad.
I just can not stop thinking about it. And God only knows when the water is going to go down. It sure isn't going anywhere fast, it's been a week already.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I did not have to clean up water and mess at home, but I get to do it tomorrow at work. Our whole building was under water. All the computers...ruined. I don't even think that he had back up of our files. The phone system...ruined. Filing cabinets full of water and mud. My desk full of water and mud. Everything.
Ugh, I don't even want to go to work tomorrow!! I'm sure that my allergies will be a mess after that.
Well, at least I'm getting paid to clean it up, right? Although I am having a hard time seeing how that is a good thing...
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I have lived in this area most of my life and have never seen it this bad. People have lost everything. It's devastating. So sad, people are not being allowed to their homes due to the severe flooding. Almost everyone that I know got water in their basement. I don't have any photos, I wish that I did. It has been all over the news. I thought that the water would go down in a day or so, but that clearly is not the case.
Monday, September 15, 2008
It took me four hours to get home yesterday. Flooded bad. The last couple years we have got floods around here that have shut down the major roads and highways. This rain and flooding is supposed to be from that Hurricane Ike that went through Texas and wreaked havoc down there.
I drove through some water that was deep. At least twice, I thought for sure that I was crazy for driving through instead of turning around. One of those idiots that you see on TV, stranded in the water that have to be rescued because they should never have been driving through that deep water. Well, yesterday, that idiot was me. I did not get stranded, but the water was pretty deep. I did not get stranded, thank God! And we finally made it home.
But we are blessed. Some people have flooded homes and are evacuated. We have no water in the basement and are able to stay at home, so, we are blessed.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Tomorrow, after church, I have to do some laundry, get my assignments done and hopefully relax a little before beginning another busy week.
There has been a lot on my mind today, the argument with the ex about the boys medication, which still has not got picked up and I can not afford to just go get. There is a really long story there. A dear friend of mine is going through a hard time and I have not heard from her. She has been on my mind. I really would love to take off to Kentucky to be by my MaMaw, but that is nearly impossible with gas prices and I can not afford to take off work right now. I am behind on a couple bills. I'm just feeling depressed today. Tomorrow's another day. Hopefully I will be feeling a little brighter tomorrow.
Until next time...
Well, the deal is that their Dad is supposed to pick up the prescriptions because the insurance makes you pay 100% at the pharmacy and then will reimburse you 100% a few weeks later. Well, I don't have that extra cash to pick them up, so he is supposed to do it. And do you know that he tells me I should go pick them up. It's crap that he has to do it! HELLO, he makes 10x the money that I make. And it's not like he took time off work to go pick the kid up from school and it's not like he took either of the kids to the doctor when they stayed home from school sick like he should have. It's not like he took them to the doctor at all, and he can't go get the prescriptions!! I was so pissed off. He's an idiot!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
So, the neighbor got this cat. Real pretty cat, I have nothing against cats, obviously because I have one! So they get this cat and the cat stays outside. Ok, fine, well, yesterday, we were eating dinner outside and here comes the cat. Well, me being the germophobe that I am, Luke, don't touch the cat. Luke don't feed the cat. Luke don't touch the cat. Luke get away from the cat..... You get the point. Well, I have a cat THAT I KEEP IN THE HOUSE!!! And cats can pass feline leukemia, fleas, etc, etc... Well, I don't want Smokey getting fleas, he doesn't even go outside. So, I don't want the cat around in the yard. And it came because we were eating outside. Buck shooed it away a few times and it went back across the fence and sat there watching us eat dinner.
So, tonight, I am making dinner. Salmon patties, fried potatoes and corn. Well, I am frying the potatoes and the salmon patties and I have the back door open with the screen, and the next thing I know, this damn cat is scratching at the screen to get in the house. Obviously, it smelled the salmon. This cat is sitting on the stairs, scratching like crazy, itching itself like mad, meowing while I am making dinner. Smokey notices and goes to the screen then they are hissing at each other. You have got to be kidding me! So, I get the squirt bottle, because this is what I do with Smokey when I want him to stop doing something or be quiet. I squirt the cat, it leaves. A few minutes later, it's right back, scratching at the screen, meowing! I squirt it again, it leaves. I literally turn around to flip the salmon patties and the cat is right back again. Now, I have squirted the heck out of this cat twice. This went on like another three times. Well, I am getting mad, I'm sure this cat does not have shots and it has fleas (it was scratching like crazy) and it's right by the open back screen.
I finally got pissed and I got a big bowl from the cabinet, filled it with water and threw it out the back door at this cat. The cat ran. This cat was soaking wet. Do you believe that, IT CAME BACK A FEW MINUTES LATER!! Seriously, I thought that cats were smarter than that! I threw the bowl of water out the back door another two... two times before the cat finally stayed off the stairs. And it was still at the bottom of the stairs meowing, licking itself, because it was soaking wet. And do you know that she had enough nerve to say that I should not have thrown water on the cat!! I did not argue with her. I told Buck he should talk to her husband. MAYBE SHE SHOULD KEEP HER DAMN CAT IN THE HOUSE if she does not want me to throw water on it for scratching up the screen and trying to get in my house! I swear if Smokey gets fleas from that cat there will be hell to pay!
Luke seriously loves them so much. They are extended family to him and all of us.
Ashlee has became such a responsible smart young woman, it's hard not to see her as the sweet little girl that she was when I first met her.
Heather just started her 3rd year away from home at college. I am so proud of her, even though I miss her terribly. She is doing good.
This is Ashlee with all my kids. We love them and really they love us back just as much.
**Note, I could not find good photos of Mary and Alan, their parents, but we love them too. :)
Monday, September 8, 2008
1. Fried Green Tomatoes
2. The stand up wire/mesh Laundry baskets (but mine are all wore out)
3. The computer (desk top and laptop)
4. The new sprayer on the kitchen sink
5. Tide Laundry soap but it HAS to be Clean Breeze scent, with the matching Downy Softener sheets
6. My camera (Canon Digital EOS Rebel xti :))
7. McDonald's Sweet Tea (they actually know my name there!)
8. My crock pot
9. My Mom's Group (wonderful ladies there and good friends)
10. Swifter Sweeper - I can not believe that I actually swept my floor with a broom before this! That thing is great! Cat hair goes right to it, like glue. It's amazing!
11. Bags - I love bags, canvas, leather, handbags it really does not matter and I seriously can not have too many. And I use them. I carry around so many I am officially known as the bag lady around here. But, such is life...
12. The Coffee Pot - I make sweet tea in the coffee pot, not coffee.
13. The Ped Egg - That thing is just as good as a pedicure and for the $10 you pay at Walgreen's for the Ped Egg, you save so much money going for pedicures, especially when I walk around barefoot all the time, ruining the pedicure!
14. Ink Pens - I have this obsession with ink pens, every time I go to the store, I buy ink pens. I guess if there is ever a shortage on ink pens, I got your back! Lord knows we will never be able to use them all. And I carry a bunch around with me too. Damn OCD!!
15. Quilts - They are so much better than just regular blankets. They are so country. I just love them.
16. Yankee Candles - It seems that these smell the best and last the longest. I really think that they are worth the money. And Geez...they sure cost.
17. Winnie the Pooh
18. Lighthouses - I collect them. I have a rather large collection of lighthouses. All over my house. They have meaning for me about being lost and being lead the way back by the light. Not like the Poltergeist or anything, but in a good way.
19. My Hair Dryer - Without it, my hair would be a frizzy nightmare. Some days it still is.
20. Clumping Cat Litter - That's all I can say. Clumping Cat Litter!!
What are some of your favorite things?? Or maybe things that you absolutely abhor??
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Look at those eyes, tell me, is that not the creepiest doll you have ever seen? But secretly, I want that doll.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
"Resentment is like poison you swallow and pray that the other person dies."
I'm not sure where I heard that, maybe on Oprah. But it is always something I have tried to remember. And when I think about it, it just seems so true. Resentment can hurt you so much more than the other person.
I don't know what the point was in sharing that, just thought it is worth pondering.
Do you have any favorite quotes you'd like to share?
Forgiving Your Enemies
Saturday, August 30, 2008
So, tell me, is there a song that does this for you? In the middle of your hectic day, you can hear it and it calms you?
Music really is theraputic sometimes.
Not sure if the link to the song is working, but am working on it. Well, actually Christina is helping me work on it :)
**Christina rocks!! She got the code for the song to work, so you can actually hear the song now if you click on the link. THANK YOU CHRISTINA**
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Until next time...
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I will post some maybe this weekend.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
5:00-6:00am - get out of bed, shower, get ready to go to work, etc
6:00am - Wake kids up and get them started for the day. Dressed, breakfast, teeth brushed, hair fixed, out the door. Does everyone have everything?
7:00am - leave house to take the older boys to school
7:30-9:00 am - have to be at work at one of my jobs, different day, different job thru the week
2:00-5:00 pm - it depends what day it is as to what time I get off work
2:30pm - pick up Myles from school
Pick Luke up from daycare somewhere in this time or do grocery shopping while waiting to get Dustin
4:45pm - pick Dustin up from school
5:00pm - Myles baseball practice
6:00pm - Dustin swimming practice
6:30 - Myles practice over
7:30pm - Dustin's practice over
Drive home, check homework that has been completed in the van, waiting for the other kid to get out of practice or school.
Sometimes we have dinner out, sometimes I still have to make dinner when we get home while the kids are getting ready for bed.
9:00pm - all kids go to bed
I do some homework, clean up the kitchen, do some laundry, whatever else needs to get done for the day
11:00-11:30pm - I go to bed to start all over in the morning!
On the weekend, Myles will usually have a game on Saturday until the end of September when baseballl is over. And Dustin will have swim meets thrown in on the weekends too. But on the weekend, I don't have to drive around as much. I also work on my homework a lot on the weekends. And of course, I am able to stay connected to the internet via laptop when I am not at home, which feels like I'm rarely at home. I'd really like a vacation from life sometimes. How does one go about arranging that??
No wonder I feel so stressed out all the time.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
There was recently an uproar in a group that I belong to that has had me thinking this week about friends, loyalty, and cyberspace. This particular uproar caused great stress for me and quite a few others that I talk to online. It even got me temporarily banned from my mom's group (not a very good feeling) through misunderstanding and maybe a lack of communication. I must add for reference that I do LOVE the mom's group and the wonderful ladies there that have shared experiences and support.
It's hard to feel pressure in life and then also through your computer screen. But, all is well in Internetland this morning. I am happy that there really are friends out there that understand me and I do consider friends despite the fact that we live miles apart and have yet to meet up, close in person. Maybe some day. I can only hope.
Friday, August 22, 2008
I drive directly home from the oil shop, and find Buck with a terrible toothache. He's miserable. Poor thing, a toothache hurts so bad. And my van is messed up. I work part time at a junk yard, but my boss needs the radiator to make sure that the parts match up. So tomorrow, Buck is supposed to take the radiator off and I will take it in to see if my boss can match it up with something we have at the yard. But, if his tooth hurts too bad, he's really not going to feel like doing that. And I am going to try to get him into the oral surgeons, but tomorrow, of course is Saturday and I don't even know if he can get into the office for that tomorrow or have to wait until Monday.
What a great day.
Not really excited about it. Really, it's just another day. Maybe we will go out to dinner, but we've already went out twice this week for dinner, so I don't know about that.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
How dare you, I was sleeping there!
And after keeping me up all night, I get up this morning and he's howling at me to fill his food bowl, now! I couldn't even go pee first. I am beginning to think maybe he is just a spoiled old man cat. I think that's it.
But he's like one of my kids.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Needless to say, those photos got erased. No more photos allowed!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Ever have those days that you just want to stay in bed? For like, maybe a week strait!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
I have said many times that I am not doing this anymore and that her daughter will just have to take care of her, but then well, her daughter's car broke down and she does not have a phone and a whole list of reasons that she can not take care of her mother! I swear I am gonna lose it if she calls me one more time this afternoon. She calls me when I am at work. If I do not answer the phone, well she calls so many times that I have to answer the phone to tell her to stop calling me. She thinks that I am just supposed to drop everything and come running over there when she needs something or wants something. And did I mention that she lives about 45 minutes from me? Well, I do not have time for this.
She is not my responsibility. I have three kids, I work two jobs, I go to school full time, I am in a relationship, and I DO NOT HAVE TIME!!! What does she not understand about that. I swear, she has no consideration for me. Just what can I do for her. I know this sounds harsh, but it's true. This old lady fully has her wits about her and she is manipulative. And I am such a sucker. I should have stopped this a long time ago, but then I feel bad that she has no one else to take care of her. But does her daughter feel bad, NO! Not one bit. So why do I? Why should I have to do everything for her when she has a daughter that lives around here and can help out, but there's a thousand excuses that she can not do it, but I am supposed to. I know that I am being taken advantage of, but then I still feel bad.
I have flipped out on her a few times and told her that she is not my responsibility and that I am not going to be doing these things anymore, and then she starts crying, "I know I'm a burden, I'm sorry. But I don't have anyone else, Bonny. You're the only one I have to depend on...." It just makes me sick! Today, well actually since yesterday she has been calling me like 100 times, because she needs groceries and she needs cigarettes, and her TV is messed up. I have said a million times don't wait until you are totally out of something to call me. I can not just run over there! But does she listen, no. She has no cigarettes and she is freaking out, and I don't have the time to go running over there. Really, I don't want to either. It is not my problem. She is not my problem. I have three kids. Three! I don't need this. And I have told her that I think that she needs to go to the nursing home to be by her husband, she won't even think about it. I think because they won't let her just sit around and smoke all day long. But, really, I am no relation to her, and her daughter does not want to take care of her and there is no one else around here to take care of her. It would be a different story if this were my MaMaw, but it's not!
Why should it be my responsibility? If she went to the nursing home they would provide her with meals, they would wash her hair, they would take care of her medical needs, she wouldn't have any bills to pay, and it would be so much easier for me. B has told me more times than I can count that I need to cut the old lady off! But then I feel bad. I am in a terrible situation with this and don't know what to do about it. But she is making me crazy!!
Friday, August 8, 2008
So, I spent the day cleaning up that mess and moving stuff around and washing the wet clothes! Not a great day.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Missing happy smiles, please return!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Myles was 5 years old in this photo. He's the artistic one of the kids. He loves to paint, model clay, draw, anything that is artsy.
This is my Ma-Maw and Luke. Luke was 7 months old. This was the first time I took him to Kentucky. I refused to cut his hair until he turned 1 year old.
Luke pooping! He will propably hate me for this photo later in life. Right now, he thinks it's funny. :)
This was always something I made their Dad do with them. The pumpkin insides are just too gross for me, and by the looks of Dustin in this photo, he thinks so too!
Thought I would share some that I found. There's more, but maybe I will try to incorporate them in a post.