Monday, November 16, 2009


I'm having a hard time with this break up thing. I had invested so much time and trust with Buck. And now I am emotionally a mess. He keeps calling, he thinks that I should still let him see my son. If I'm not mistaken, he was supposed to be a good example in Luke's life. "How to be a good man." It just seems so ironic that the very person telling Luke that was so much less than he portrayed himself to be. "We don't lie. We don't keep secrets." Interesting when that same man was lying and keeping secrets. Unfaithful. It is very upsetting to me that now he feels somehow I am supposed to take his feelings into consideration that he misses Luke and that I should just trust him to continue with the privilege of being in my son's life. I don't know what to do. I don't want Luke to be as disappointed as I am. And, it's not like Luke is begging me where his Dad is. He really has not asked much since it was not unusual that we would be away from Buck when we came home. This is just an extended stay at home in his eyes. I am very hurt and emotional and pissed off really.

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