Starting over sucks.
It hardly seems worth it to put myself out there to be hurt again.
I don't think I will ever fully trust another man again. It hurts and it sucks that it still hurts so very much. I am trying to force myself to be positive. Force myself to be happy. Force myself to get out of bed everyday. I have to get out of bed to go to work, but on days that I am off, I lay around and barely do anything. I do the basics with the kids, feeding them, making them get showered, not kill each other, but other than that I would rather just stay in bed. I know that it's depression. I am trying so hard to deal with it. I don't want to feel like this.
I wish I never met him. I wish that I just walked away in the beginning. How could I not have seen what he really was? How could I have loved him so much and I was just an option for him. Why? Why? Why? And really no answers would ever be good enough. I just wish it were easier to move on and away from him.
I don't want to keep thinking about him. I hate that I still think about him.
I'm still angry.
I don't think there is happiness out there for me.
I am just concentrating on my kids and not going to worry about a man.