Sunday, February 22, 2009

Life and Death

Today is a day like many other for some, but for me, it is eternally the day that my bestest friend in High School passed away from brain cancer. We were thinking that she was improving, but then within a week, she was gone. This was so difficult for me. It has been 16 years since she has been gone. And I can't even explain how hard it is to write that it has been 16 years. I loved her so very much. It was so hard. It was unfair. We were teenagers, teenagers didn't get cancer! Well, they really do get cancer and they really do die from it. I wish that was not the case. I wish that she did not die. I wish that we were able to be there for each other's weddings. The births of our children. But, that was just not God's plan. I feel like I was robbed of my best friend when I needed one so badly. And although it has been 16 years, I still miss her just as much.

She got these floweres for her 16th Birthday. I wonder if it would have made a difference then to know that she was going to be sick.

13 years ago, I had went into the beginning stages of labor with my oldest baby, Dustin. I cryed, he just could not be born on the day that Kimmie had died. I was really upset about it. Thankfully he waited until 4:25am on February 23, 1996. So this day in my mind is all Kim's. I always remember, I always take flowers, and sometimes when I am really having a hard time, I go there and talk to her. I'm not really expecting an answer, but I do feel her presence. I feel her presence around me often. I miss her terribly sometimes. Today is one of those days.

RIP Sweet Kim. I still love you. I wish we had more time.

4 comments:

Occupied Funk... said...

I know the feeling of losing a loved one to cancer. I lost my dad to it. 16 years sometimes feels like yesterday.

Bonny said...

Thanks Ola. Cancer is not something I want to deal with again. I'm sorry about your Dad. And 16 years does feel like yesterday sometimes. I'm feeling better today.

Karyn "kd" said...

I'm so sorry for that loss. And yes, it's so unfair and such a deprival of so many things. But you have her around you and she lives because of you and the others who love her so much. I believe she's just waiting until you two can catch up again one day.
Take good care of yourself.. I know how you feel in a different way, but those days are quite hard..

Happy belated birthday to your son.
Take care

Bonny said...

Thanks Karyn.