Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Happiness?? Are you out there?

I have been emotionally all over the place lately. I feel in my head that I should start dating again. I mean, I'm not getting any younger. But in my heart, I just am not sure what I want. I don't believe that I have to be with someone to be happy, but is that what I want? If that makes any sense. One day I am feeling almost happy and optimistic. The next day I just want to stay in bed all day and not face the world. I don't want to be alone, but I am not sure that I want to be with someone either. And, then there is the fact that my older children especially are being very observant about what I am doing with this dating thing. Will they ever think that it is OK for me to have dinner with someone? I am worried about everything. I want to do what is right for the kids as well as myself. I just want to be happy and I want my kids to be happy. I want to...I don't know. I'm so confused. I don't think emotionally, I am ready for this dating thing. I wish I knew why God has chose the path he has for me. I know I am just supposed to have faith, but having faith is so hard sometimes.


Diana said...

Hi Bonny,
When I was alone with my then 11 and 8 year old kids, I was working two jobs a day. I told myself that I didn't want to get serious about anyone as I was now completely responsible for these children.
It was when I gave up on meeting anyone that I met my now husband of twenty years. It was an amazing story. But what it comes down to is that when I gave up and stopped worrying about love, it found me.
Relax, enjoy your kids while they are young, focus on today. Things will happen on their own.
Love Di

Bonny said...

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I can't tell you how much it means to me. I guess I have just been having a pity part lately and need to get on with living. I really am trying. Thanks so much.

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billiemae said...

Hi Bonny,
just happened onto your blog and wanted to tell you that you are NEVER alone.. Trust that God will show you the path to take... It's not easy but it is worth the trip.
I will do a follow up on you... Just Trust. Feel free to check out my blog. Maybe you will find encouragement there... God Bless billiemae

Bonny said...

Thanks so much for the encouragment and kind words. I just have been feeling really down and trying to pick myself up and go on with my life.It's just been hard.