Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Happiness?? Are you out there?
I have been emotionally all over the place lately. I feel in my head that I should start dating again. I mean, I'm not getting any younger. But in my heart, I just am not sure what I want. I don't believe that I have to be with someone to be happy, but is that what I want? If that makes any sense. One day I am feeling almost happy and optimistic. The next day I just want to stay in bed all day and not face the world. I don't want to be alone, but I am not sure that I want to be with someone either. And, then there is the fact that my older children especially are being very observant about what I am doing with this dating thing. Will they ever think that it is OK for me to have dinner with someone? I am worried about everything. I want to do what is right for the kids as well as myself. I just want to be happy and I want my kids to be happy. I want to...I don't know. I'm so confused. I don't think emotionally, I am ready for this dating thing. I wish I knew why God has chose the path he has for me. I know I am just supposed to have faith, but having faith is so hard sometimes.