Happening right now

The post I made to my Mom's group pretty much sums up how I am doing right now.
Just everything! Issues with my ex. Things with the kids. My oldest hates me and pretty much the world and I have issues about that because I am ready to tell him to stay with his Dad, but then I feel terrible, because I am his mom and not supposed to just give up. But I don't know what else to do. He does not listen to me at all. Myles, bless his heart, seems depressed. He was telling me the other day some things about his Dad's house and his step mom that upset me, but I can not say anything, because I have no control over what goes on there. And I hate that I can not control what goes on with them all the time. There is just so much.
I am in my last class before I get my associates degree, but I am having a struggle with the class and have a 78% which is going to bring down my GPA, which I am not happy about.
Buck and I have talked more and more about living together and all it has done is convince me that we can not live together. So, being realistic, things have to stay how they are between us which is a story in itself.
I have been having a lot of problems with my feet and legs swelling, and have not made time to go to the doctor. But what are they going to tell me, stay off them, well that is not possible. So that is not a solution, I have to work. So I have not even been to the dr about it yet. But they swell and throb almost everyday except when I stay off them like on the weekend.
So, right now, I just want to go back to bed for like a week. But really, that won't change things anyway. I am trying to made the best of what I have. It's just been hard lately.