Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Life happenings...

More background info before I move on with the current life happenings.

In 2002, I filed for divorce from S. This did not come as an easy decision but one that I felt was best for my boys and myself included. I do not know if this was the right thing, but I could not watch my kids growing up in such a toxic home environment. We were fighting regularly and the bickering never ended. It was not how I wanted my kids to grow up. I did not want them to think that was how a marriage was supposed to be and I did not want them to grow up to fight with their spouse like we were fighting in front of them.

In 2003, in the middle of my divorce and custody fight, I was unexpectedly pregnant. Not a very opportune time to get pregnant, but I did nonetheless. The father, well let's just say that he was not the best candidate for fatherhood and by my choice, has not been involved. It really is for the best. My 3rd son, L was born in 2004. I was twenty-nine years old. This was a very difficult time in my life. I was getting divorced, I had three children and I was emotionally a wreck. My divorce went on for three long years, not ending until 2005. I was married a total of ten years and was with S for 14 years. I did not know what to do with myself. I had been a wife and mother for most of my adult life and now I did not know what to do. I was a stay at home mother the whole time I was married, and now, I had to work to support myself and the boys. Did I mention that even though S makes a ridiculous amount of money that he was not ordered by the court to pay child support because we share joint physical and legal custody? It's true, no child support, but I am managing and it is rewarding to say that I am doing it on my own. So, I started working in 2003 cleaning empty apartments before new tenants moved in. The pay was not good, but I was able to make my own hours and take the children with me when I needed to. I did this throughout my pregnancy and after L was born. I had L on a Saturday and was back to work on Monday! Crazy, I know.

I worked for a well known donut shop for a couple years. Currently, I am working at a Bed & Breakfast and I also work part-time as the secretary for an auto salvage yard.

So, presently, I am working two jobs for little pay, going to school full-time online, care for an elderly lady, and have three kids. I feel most days like crawling back into bed and covering my head. I am hoping that all the hard work pays off, I complete my degree (I have two years left), get a job that pays way more than I make now, and am able to afford a house on my own. Currently I rent a small apartment in a small town. I want to stay in the small town. Also, I am in a relationship with a good man. We have been together for four years now. I met him when L was for months old. We have been together since. But that is for another post.

So this concludes the watered down version of how I got to today and my future posts will involve my present life with the boys and my relationship with B. And whatever else comes up along the way.

Until next time.

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